I was warned long before I got here
that student teaching is one of the hardest experiences we will face. This is because there are a lot of
firsts in student teaching: our first time being a real teacher, our first time
teaching all day long, prepping lessons every day, juggling 60 students, and
having mountains of grading to complete.
For those of us who choose to do our student teaching in a foreign
country we have a few more firsts to add to that list: our first time in that
specific country, our first time teaching in an ESL context, and our first
semester abroad. For me, though, I
had some firsts I never expected or anticipated. It was the first time my family was also in a foreign
country, sharply limiting my contact with them, my first time to have an
adopted sibling, my first time not to meet a new sibling of mine, and my first time to not
be present with my family as they endure and struggle through monumental
changes. If this wasn’t enough, I
also needed to switch cooperating teachers after one week of being here.
As someone who only enjoys a small
sampling of change at a time this volume of changes was crushing. In fact, at times, it still feels like
too much because not only is this a semester full of firsts, but it has
followed right after a semester full of lasts: my last semester at Moody and my
last semester living with my wonderful roommate and friends, the last time I will live in
the city of Chicago which I have slowly come to appreciate, and the completion
of 17 years of formal education.
I must admit that there have been
moments when I have been tempted to toss it away and return home in hopes of
scraping some sense of normalcy back into my life. There have been moments when I ache so much because my
family is going through hardship and I am entirely unable to help them. There are instances that I wonder why I
can’t just be like everyone else and settle down near my family. And maybe this will happen at some
point, but for now I hear God asking, “Will you leave father and mother,
brother and sister for me?” And as
much as I hate all the change and I hate all the distance I know that this is
what I was promised.
Our lives are not meant to be
comfortable and easy because we serve a God who calls us to follow Him despite
the guaranteed hardship and pain. And
yet, we also serve a God who is present and who meets us where we are. When I look at some of the things that
have happened this semester I am amazed that I am still here. I know a semester like this would have
been too much had I faced it at an earlier time in my life. This is what God has given me now – it is
not what I would have planned or predicted, but God knows that our time on
earth is just for a moment and He works with His eyes on eternity, knowing what
is best on a level far beyond our scope.
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| Some more firsts! I went on a medical mission trip for spring break... |
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| ...It was my my first time combing lice out of hair... |
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| ...And my first time drinking from a coconut :) |
